Hey guys, I’m so sorry for the long silence. I just couldn’t bring myself to put down anything most times, even though my head is always full of stuff (from really important stuff to trying to decide whether I want to drink my garri with or without milk 😀)
1/6/2018 was my birthday and I got a lot of wishes…and…the best surprise I’ve ever gotten so far. I can say that for this new year of my life, I’m most grateful for the privilege of experiencing true friendship. A great friendship is really a breath of fresh air. I count more than twice the blessing of having people in my life who love me just because they love me. The ones who put up with all that I am, from the goofy and chatty person, when I’m in a comfortable space or just in the mood, to the person who’d barely talk to you and seems withdrawn (the later takes being a true friend to deal with…those who know, know).
I’ve been going through a discovery of who I am, what I like, who I want to be, what I’m good at and what needs extra effort or just needs to get out of my list completely. It’s been a period of unlearning some of what I’ve been told to be, relearning the important things and learning what I don’t know. The truth is, especially for the unlearning part, some times it feels like I’m losing my mind (I guess this is what growing up feels like, the fight between the old and the new), but I’m getting comfortable with the feeling as long as I’m making progress.
I’m learning the importance of my voice (notice that I used the continuous tense. Past tense sounds too conclusive to me because I’m still living and there’s always more to learn). I’m learning that part of being a grown up is choosing to stand up for something…it’s braver than standing up for nothing and falling for anything. Few days ago, I thought about my dad and how he’s been teaching me to not be afraid of my voice, to have an opinion. He probably doesn’t know that he was doing that. I didn’t know either, until recently. He’d ask my opinion about something and to show respect, I’d say his opinion was okay. He’d simply disagree and tell me he wants to hear mine. I’d finally speak. Getting older, I have realized the value of owning my thoughts and not being afraid or ashamed when I think differently about anything.
I’m learning to like me. To have a healthy relationship with myself. To not try too hard to be in a conversation just because someone said I am unfriendly (just because I do have the personality that they prefer). To not fight my love for solitude after a long day (sometimes shorter) of socializing, to understand that it’s very normal.
“Self made” is a myth. The person who came up with that was probably bored, or hungry, or both. They either don’t have friends or have an exaggerated view of themselves. We need one another (maybe not everyone but there are people who contribute to your success), therefore, relationships matter. No such thing as “doing it all by yourself” because we were made for community. Seek for your village. I’m learning that too. Plus, I belong to a pretty interesting village.
I’m learning to keep in touch with my world. Notice the things around me. I don’t want to be so busy chasing my ambitions that the loveliness of the simple things in life passes me by.
Finally, thank you to everyone that wished me a happy birthday. My birthday is a birthday because of you all. I love you all.